015: psychological generalizations

Without going into all the normal and abnormal details of an American childhood in the late fifties and early sixties, let it be said that Son’s trajectory through life was formed by two psychological generalizations he discovered in a few years of therapy way back in the early nineties.

First, his mother was afraid of the world. Second, his father did not really introduce him to the world.

At least that's the story being told here.

Please understand these two pyschological generalizations are not offered here as excuses or reasons for Son being one way or another; they were actually the greatest gifts his parents gave him, and he honors them for their generosity.

014: hyperbiography

Neither auto, authorized, nor non-authorized, it’s here and now the time and space for a little hyperbiography.

Five years ago, Son began to lose identification with what he had always thought to be himself. Two years ago today, Son lost his job. But that’s enough said about that. The past two years accordingly became a search for himself, as well as work.

Today, Son still has no job, and has further discovered there is no self to find. So much for his double search. But see Son smile. What’s up with that?

013: within nor without

It is neither within nor without, but without is within and within is without. Everything is in this vast and pure and light awareness, including self-limiting thoughts of who and what I think I am. But actually, I am this awareness, as everything is this awareness, and all there really is *is* this awareness.

012: the energetic aspect

Non-conceptual does not mean non-energetic. Non-conceptual means not defined by a thought. Unlimited from the confines of a word. Awareness is non-conceptual. That is not to say that Awareness is not energetic. Awareness is consciousness, being, and bliss. And bliss is the energetic aspect of the non-conceptual and indefinable intelligence-energy we call by many names although it's nameless. One aspect of that nameless god is bliss. And bliss is just a name to indicate this nameless god is not joyless and nihilistic and lifeless. One of the original faces of that nameless god is bliss, is joy, is love, is the enthusiastic nature of the 'is' itself. Son begins to understand the summer of being is, by its nature, the summer of bliss. Not hedonistic satisfaction but the simple joy of being. And this makes Son quite joyous and thus he sings his song of songs this morning.

011: river of bliss

To follow the currents of one's bliss, one must be resting in the river of bliss. One must enter the river of bliss, the flow of being, the stream of consciousness before one can follow its dream state currents. One must access the foundational bliss through one's practice of meditation, through one's perpetual meditation, one's resting in awareness. Following one's bliss is an improbability (not discounting the flood of real love) when whirling in the confusion of egoic consciousness. Thus Son stops, Son rests in this June of being, in the warmest currents of joy, in the summer of one's bliss-content.

010: water water

Awareness is tangible like water and clear as water and unthinkable as water and it drinks us like water. There's just one water; there's no separate containers of water, no my water; there's water water everywhere and not a drop to think. And in the summer on hot humid nights, there's even water in the air. And Son had been walking in that water thinking watery thoughts. But a watery thought isn't water itself and so Son stopped thinking of water and rested in it instead. The current now. The ripple here.

009: the shining

The sun is shining on nothing in the middle of a tangle of green leaves. More clearly, nothing is shining on nothing, although one could otherwise say shining shines shining. Or better, one could say nothing. I am the shining and the shining is everything and everything is nothing and nothing am I but that. Summer is full of green words. The sun disappears again behind a great wall of clouds and Son sees.

tsob 008: always being that

Summer arrives as if it always was here, there always being that. Awakened motivation is bliss as spirit moves through the dimension of the dream state. Whereas motivation in the unawakened dream state is most often ego-driven, bliss does enter in the way called love. Bliss equals love equals awakened motivation equals spirit moving through the dream state. Bliss does the dream state character. Consciousness moves all. Being is the only will that's free. Son listens and nods.

tsob 007: Bliss

Bliss never stops. Her parents would joke that Bliss wasn't born; she was just moving through. When Bliss was two years old, she had covered more miles just walking about than most folks do in a lifetime. By the time was Bliss was eighteen, she had circumnavigated the globe eighty-one times. When asked why she was always on the go, she answered she was just following her bliss, and it was always on the go. Son had asked her the question while stopped. But he had to follow her to hear the answer.

tsob 006: new ideas

Here's some new ideas. First and last, there is only being, which is non-conceptual, and thus not an idea. Second, there is this idea of a so-called life, that dualistic entity which remains in existence even after awakening to being. Third, after awakening to being, there appears to be a gap in motivation in that so-called dualistic entity living a so-called life. When motivation is lacking there remains only survival, and always always always being. Survival being ensured for Son at least through summer, there remains only being. And since there is nothing left to endure through mere acceptance, Son has chosen to enjoy the summer of being. And so Son enjoys the summer of being, while asking life what it wants him to do. Son doesn't think what to do but listens to life, patiently. In other words, Son will follow his bliss.

tsob 005: ghost of nothing

He had lived his so-called life in the idea that he was Son within ten thousand other self-limiting ideas. But he wasn't Son or any other of the ten thousand self-limiting ideas. He was everything, the father and the mother and the son and the daughter and the ever-loving holy ghost of nothing. And because of this, he had stopped, or all the old ideas had stopped, and he was moving with spirit in this summer of being. No ideas but in new ideas arising from intuition of being.

tsob 004: nothing

He had come to know there were no things but in ideas. Only thinking them so made things; otherwise there were no things. No thing; nothing. But not nothing in the way we think of nothing, but a nothing unthinkably everything. Everything is actually nothing and that nothing is Consciousness, Being, Spirit. And Son too is that everything and he had stopped to learn absolutely nothing.

tsob 003: no idea

Son had no idea what would happen when he stopped. That was the whole idea. No ideas. Instead of working with ideas to move his life forward, he had let go of all ideas. Or maybe ideas had let him go. Maybe he wasn't actually stopped. Maybe ideas had stopped. Maybe now he was moving free without the ten thousand bumps that make things in the night.

tsob 002: pinball wizard

Now Son didn't literally stop of course. There was still a Son and there was still movement and there was still a world of people, places, and things revolving around this Son. But all of this was movement begun back when there appeared to be rhymes and reasons. So, much of this movement still continued like a pinball bouncing around within an unplugged machine. But there was no pinball wizard any longer trying to nudge or coerce its movement. The curtain had been opened, revealing the pinball wizard to be just another fraud in Oz. There was no wizard and there was no Son; so Son had stopped.

summer of being 001: the longest day

It was the longest day of the year when Son stopped. There wasn't any reason why he stopped; in fact, that's exactly how his stopping came to be. He had come to understand there was no rhyme nor reason. As a poet he could survive the lack of rhyme, but no reason pretty much put an end to the person he had been. And thus Son stopped.