resembling an NDE

had something resembling an NDE last night; what follows are my notes immediately following; fwiw

appears to have just experienced NDE when breathing stopped while sleeping due to mucus build-up in throat

immediate response felt like fish flapping back into element and breathing: a flopping onto face down and arms spread forward (was on side)

immediately before that there was an electric shocklike closing down maybe accompanied by a flash of blue light

it was definitely an impersonal event until a second or two after recovery when a sudden comprehension came of what had just occurred

the comprehension was accompanied by a moment of animal fear and then a more calm understanding with some bodily reaction of breathing

back to the NDE electric shock: emphasizing the shut down response; quick electric switching off with feeling, probably breath-related

electric feeling of closing down, falling down, not falling down but a leaving? there was a consciousness that saw something

definitely a flash of light but nothing eye bright, more electric blue

not a consciousness of death though; an impersonal electrical transformation occuring but immediately accompanied by bodily response

bodily response was coming up for air, empasize the coming up. and then flopping down on the bed

surprised at conscious experience of electric whoosh (for lack of a better word) but 'death' approaching was not deathlike but experiential

like an experience of the power closing off on this outlet. not returning to a source because power still there. just a switching.

also surprised at 'my' somewhat calm after response :-) no real shaking psychological fear following the quick animal fear response

but a quick and growing comprehension of what had just been experienced with an appreciation of still being alive, but again not emotional

ha! it doesn't take long for the mind to create stories. thinking who would have discovered my body? what would my body look like? position?

that's it. 18 hours later, all i would add is the awareness the body immediately had in its all-out attempt to survive; it was traumatic!

also, what was experienced was a nanosecond in length; even the description 'electric whoosh' is ten thousand times longer than experience

as for feeling after near death, no real carpe diem stuff, but definitely a fuck the bullshit, but that was already there. now confirmed.

fuck bullshit!

let's add a love to that though.

fuck bullshit; love truth